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Lessons learned from frustration!

Hey there! Yes It's been over two months but I was on vacation from my sabbatical. I know right...who needs a vacation from a sabbatical? ;)


Let's begin with the cliff notes for July and August. IT WAS HOT but I enjoyed every minute of it. My best friend of over 20 years joined me on the island as we celebrated our birthday's, July 4th and July 5th! I traveled down to DC and spent time with another friend I've known for over 20 years. I flew to Atlanta to see my mother, more longevity friends and I got to hold, snuggle and meet my Godson for the first time! (All Covid safe connections with 4 negative tests results.)


After all the snuggles, laughs and hugs with family and friends I returned to Martha's Vineyard and prepared for my much anticipated trip to Jamaica

and it was EVERYTHING I needed! All inclusive resort, massages, rum punch, white sand, blue water, an all day excursion to go zip lining, river tubing and horseback riding! There was an exclusive boat day with my friends where we snorkeled and laid up on the yacht like we were in a hip hop music video! Most importantly we had two days of giving school supplies, backpacks and small PPE kits to the children of the Trewlany community. It was perfect! But this post is about lessons learned from frustration and the months of July and August had multiple moments.


July I got into a physical altercation with a grown woman. Yup, four days after my 41st birthday I had to put my hands on someone in public and in the middle of the street. She was a stranger to me yes, because I did not personally know her, but she was not a stranger because she was actually apart of the group of women I was with. Thinking back I was proud of myself, because I didn't just 'take' what this woman was dishing out. I didn't just 'Namastay' my ass to accepting she was out of control and turn the other cheek while she kept carrying on. I asked for personal space, I expressed my desire for her to stop speaking to me in the disrespectful way she was, but when it came down to it...well my right hand grabbed her face and pushed her out of my sacred personal space. Don't let the chakra crystal bracelet fool you, I got North Philly and S.E. DC DNA running through my veins.


But what do you do after this type of exchange with another human being? How do you reflect on the frustration and even personal shock of having your peaceful disposition shifted back to a place you thought you 'grew out of?' Yes I was a fighter in my teens and 20s...so to be 41 I was shaken. I questioned my own growth and had to process the disbelief that I actually put my hands on someone. After much rest and reflection the following lessons about myself surfaced and gave me the peace I needed.

  1. I don't and won't fuck with people I really don't know. Especially not in big 'party' gatherings involving liquor.

  2. I will leave venues when I'm ready to leave. I will never stay longer no matter what. There is no FOMO for me-(Fear Of Missing Out).

  3. I will embrace class and sophistication. It's a real thing and not everyone functions at the same class levels. It's not a bad thing to have standards and recognize when someone around you does not meet them.

  4. I will work on creating my energetic boundaries so its easier to walk away from the mess and noise without my deep personal embers being ignited. Cause I'm ALWAYS READY...Fight, Flight or Freeze....I'ma fight every time.

  5. My biggest overall lesson-TRUST MYSELF! My intuition always knows who belongs in my inner circle. I knew from the moment I met her she was not for me, and that's okay.

The month of July started off with the profound lesson in self trust which empowered the rest of my summer.


In August I dealt with frustrating situations at the Martha's Vineyard airport and the Montego Bay airport but the lesson I learned was to slow down. Whenever I want to move fast and it feels like NOTHING is going right there is a reason. In Martha's Vineyard I wasn't able to get on my original flight to NY for my connection to Jamaica. I sat for 5 hours waiting for the next flight, but it forced me to breath, to observe my surroundings and stop rushing. Everything worked out. I got to NY. Rested in a prepaid hotel and the next day flew to Montego Bay.


Upon arriving I was supposed to have a van shuttle to the resort but I ended up getting a taxi with a driver who gave me the tour of a lifetime. Sharing with me Jamaican stories and culture, and most importantly he shared his story of the pandemic. He told me I was his first fare in over 18 months. He hadn't be able to work because he was high risk and prior to receiving his vaccine he was not allowed to drive his taxi. Not being able to work took his income and therefore he hadn't been able to purchase his insulin. His jovial smile, laughter and genuine gratitude because HE was driving me, had me reflect on the 5 hours of waiting I had to do in order to get here. This man called me his angel because that day was his first day back to work and he would NOW be able to purchase his insulin from this one ride.

I could have been frustrated and dismissive of this man since he was not my original mode of transportation. I could have not engaged in conversation with him during our ride, or I could have told him I had been to Jamaica numerous times and knew all the stories he was telling me. But I didn't. I didn't allow my frustration to be taken out on him. I was just present and aware of my surroundings and connected with another human being completely for 40 mins. It reminded me, everything is connected, every moment creates an opportunity for choices to be made to either create more frustration or to create joy. I am grateful I chose joy.


Next blog, I will discuss a major lesson I learned from FEAR because baby...I jumped off a bridge and Zip Lining and horseback riding....nearly took me out!


Until then.


Love,




P.S.


Some other exciting updates!


Pops'nAde's TEDx talk has now reached 107,064 combined views!!!! That means over two platforms, YouTube and Ted.com's website, over 100,00 people have watched our talk. I'm humbled and honored to do this work with Pops and to have it received by so many.


Also I want to mention despite being separated by 3000 miles we completed season 2 of Conversating w/Pops'nAde AND added a video component to it. I mean I'm just proud of us and want to say thank you to those of you who have supported us from the beginning! Keep spreading the word about our work!


Last but definitely not least I'm launching my preview Women's Group workshop 'Reclaiming You!' Be on the lookout in the next couple of days for details and how you can register.


Sorry to my gentleman readers my workshop is for women only, but if you know a dynamic woman who you think would benefit from my workshop, by ALL means let them know about it.






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