Updated: May 22, 2021
For me 2020 has been one of the most challenging years yet. There has been one thing after another: the death of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gigi. The Corona Virus pandemic. Civil unrest and protests against racism and police brutality. The deaths of Chadwick Boseman, John Lewis, C.T. Vivian, and RBG, West Coast wildfires, Southeast hurricanes, political scandals and incompetence and just this weekend there was a 4.5 magnitude earthquake in LA.... 😳INHALE...EXHALE....Breath.
But, these are all external factors we personally don't have any control over but they affect us just the same. Doubts arise, worries, pain, feelings of hopelessness, suffering and anxiety. But what about our internal self? What about doubts, worries, fears, anxiety and feelings of hopelessness that are specifically related to our personal daily life? Career, relationships-familial, friendship, intimate; anything and everything in between. I think we all can agree everyone has some variation of these feelings, experiences and thoughts. Myself included and sometimes more frequently than I'd like to admit.
Prior to 2020 I began this deep dive of self discovery. Rebirth into my new skin, my purpose, my calling...but damn it's scary, AND THEN 2020 said...sit down and dig even deeper, find more clarity, remove those distractions, make some decisions. 2020 has forced me to look into the proverbial mirror, ask the tough questions and challenge some of my own self sabotaging behaviors. During this time I have had to push myself beyond these doubts and confront realities of this pandemic and the current state of my life. The clarity I have found is magical yet, the most frightening thing has been trusting the unknown, taking the leap of faith, and not comparing myself to what other people are doing. Have you ever seen those memes of deadlocked traffic, but there is one car taking the side detour up the hill, over the mountains...yea that's how I feel right now. Like I'm going off the expected course by creating my own way.
Something else became clear during 2020 and that's owning my true voice. I think in the moments of being safe at home, and not avoiding the silences and deep introspection I allowed myself to feel everything. It was like 2020 said...HERE. These things. These feelings, these emotions, this is what I want you to remember, acknowledge, and talk about because you can do it. You're capable. I realized I have to accept all of my calling even the parts I might be criticized for, or looked at like I'm crazy, told I'm too much, or what I talk about is not "appropriate" to discuss. So the resolution is...
I have to be willing to talk about the things in life that others don't want to talk about....the tough vulnerable stuff.
Soo welcome aboard and come join the conversation.